Diagnosis or Label?

Crisis often precipitates change. While trying to understand what on earth was going on in our family with my partner and child I came across The World Health Organisation screening questionnaire. With my finger pointing at my partner, I actually ended up with an epiphany that it was also me! The old adage one finger pointing out and four (actually let's get this right it should be three) pointing back.

It was this screening questionnaire that made me explore the possibility that not just our child but I may have a brain that worked a bit differently from others. We were clearing out my parent's home at the time and I had just found my secondary school reports. And so armed with this little bit of documented developmental history I reached out to the private assessment centre where our child was already on a waiting list for assement and added my name to the adult assessment waitlist. For me, there was no way I was going down the NHS route mainly because of all my experiences as a woman and also as a parent of not being really listened to.

It was during the first lockdown and I completed the assessment questionnaires, very long and repetitive and overwhelming. I had two rounds of screening meetings and then I was given a diagnosis. Receiving the diagnosis was so incredibly validating, so much made sense that hadn't before. And that not making sense brought with it a lot of self-loathing and doubt.

I had already given up drinking completely, a post for another time, and had already begun to make small changes and generally that feeling of being continually overwhelmed and the intense focus or the complete exhaustion was abating. Essentially no longer a prisoner of my emotions.

I will share more on the topic but essentially the diagnosis has given me an understanding, not a label. It has helped me to find ways of living that makes my life more manageable and more enjoyable.

If it is possible for me, with a diagnosis at 51, to make impactful changes then it is possible for others too. It is not a label to make excuses for but a diagnosis to equip me. When you have a diagnosis of asthma you are provided with various pumps to help you manage your physical health so that you can indeed run like others. So too are mental health diagnoses. Sadly, a lot of women with autism and ADHD are living with the wrong diagnosis which has made their lives much harder. Diagnosis of things like depression or other labels. So wrong diagnosis means wrong prescriptions that don't actually support or help the condition. They might help to mask the condition but not in the long run help.

By sharing my story I want to help others make changes for themselves to make their own lives more fruitful and be all that they are created to be.

I would really love to hear your stories of change, please reach out on my contact form and connect with me and join me in this journey of creating a place for whole families living with neurodiversity.